


Love is Blindness

by jensennjared



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Coda, M/M, Season/Series 11, Spoilers, Supernatural Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 18:07:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5976271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jensennjared/pseuds/jensennjared
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>11x13 CODA: Dean waits for the curse to show up, consumed with worry about who exactly he will meet, and how he will feel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love is Blindness

**Author's Note:**

> beta'd by the wonderful Meg

Dean smiled as he watched Sam disappear up the stairs, triumphant in his win of their childhood game — a moment of frivolity in the midst of solemnity. He turned his back to walk around the room, fingers drifting over the plastic sheeting and hardwood panels, overturning boxes and shuffling papers around in search of the heart. In actuality, all he could do at this point was wait. Wait for the curse to catch up with him. His mind battled, racing back and forth over what he expected – hoped – to see; whoever it was could truly underline his fate. The form the curse took – whoever she turned out to be – could spell the end of Dean’s resolve. Perhaps it would reveal his true love, but a part of him feared he would meet a dark compulsion masquerading as desire. To see Amara would mean that he had lost control – body and soul.

Footsteps approached, a bang from behind as something clattered to the floor.

“Find anything?” He called to Sam, already sure that his brother was still upstairs, but he wished to cling on to uncertainty for a minute longer. Dean turned, his gaze landing on an angel. “Cas…”

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel replied, the hint of a smile pulling at his lips. Dean gaped, finally faced with a reality he had been ignoring for a long time. His gaze roamed the angel’s face, searching for the light in his brilliant blue eyes and the sincerity to his expression. Cas wasn’t looking back. His face was a mask.

“Not Cas.” Dean said, edging around the table, sights set on the exit.

“You were expecting this, weren’t you Dean?” Castiel’s lips moved, the words not his own, and still that dead glassy stare persisted.

“Not exactly.”

“Dean Winchester, too stubborn to see inside his own heart.” Castiel — Qareen said, mimicking Dean’s movements as he shuffled around the table. “Or is it something else? Perhaps the love for another leaves you confused, hmm. Should I be someone else?”

“You mean, Amara.”

“I suppose that could work but I’m not convinced. That bond is unhealthy, coerced — untrue. It’s not love you feel for her.”

“No, it’s not. She’s got some kind of hold on me.” Dean replied, unsure of the right words to describe the pull he felt when around her.

Castiel rolled his eyes. “Don’t you get tired of fighting, Dean? Too blind to see what’s right in front of you.” He hedged his bets, stepping towards the table and laying his hands out palm down. “Love is scary, isn’t it? All those creatures — all that darkness you struggle with pales in comparison to the fact that you’re in love. Vulnerability isn’t your strong suit.” He lifted his arms towards Dean, reaching for contact. “Just give in, Dean. Let me show you the truth in your heart.”

“I don’t think so, buddy. Maybe you’re right — maybe I do feel something for Cas. But newsflash, you’re not him. Just a cheap imitation. So I don’t have to tell you jack.” Dean lunged for his knife and Qareen flew at him, fist clenched and aiming for Dean’s chest. Dean blocked him with a panel of plywood, Qareen’s hand flying through the material with ease. Dean rolled across the table to put space between them. Reaching for his knife, he clenched stiff cold silver in his palm, and turned towards the creature, ready to impale it. Qareen blocked Dean’s advances, grabbing hold of his arm and twisting it up and behind his back. He pressed the hunter against the wall, drawing his fist back, target locked.

Dean braced himself, closing his eyes tightly. He couldn’t bear the malice contorting his angel’s features.

And then the screaming started. Qareen staggered back, eyes raised to the heavens as a blue light ate him up from the inside. He disappeared cloaked in billowing black smoke. Dean panted, eyes wide again, relief flooding his system. Sam’s frantic, heavy footsteps descended the stairs, searching for his brother, worry stalling his heart. “Dean?”

“Yeah?” Dean called out, breathless, fingers soothing the tension in his chest.

“So I got it. It’s done.” Sam said, slashing his way through the plastic sheeting.

“You good?”

“Yeah, are you good?”

“Yeah.” Dean nodded, pleased to see his brother in one piece, before pushing his way past Sam and heading for the stairs.

* * *

 

“So are you gonna keep me in suspense here or what?” Sam said, breaking the silence as he continued to stuff a duffle bag with the books they’d brought out on the road with them.

“About what?” Dean thought it best to feign ignorance, unsure of whether he wished to broach the subject with his brother.

“Who was it? Bach or Simpson?”

“It was neither.”

“Huh,” Sam returned to packing, holding his tongue, intent on not pushing for the truth, “well it’s cool if you don’t wanna talk about it.”

“It was…” Dean began, taking a deep breath to quiet his nerves. “It was Cas.”

“Are you surprised?” Sam asked, curiosity overwhelming him.

“I guess. I don’t know.” Dean shrugged. He didn’t really know what to feel. “You’re not?”

“Yeah, no.” Sam gave his brother a worried, but amused, look. “This has been coming for a long time.”

“How come you didn’t say anything?”

“Honestly? I thought you’d work it out, Dean. I didn’t think you’d be so… so blind.”

“That’s what Qareen said.” Dean could hear the creature’s words echoing in his head.

“Yeah, well, maybe he was right.” Sam sighed, pulling a chair out at the table and sitting down.

“Yeah, no kidding.”

“So what are you gonna do now?”

“Speak to Cas. I owe him that much.” Dean nodded, leaning against the wall.

“You gonna call him?”

“No, I think we need to talk face to face. He deserves the truth, and uh, so do I.”

“He already knows, y’know.” Sam said, wringing his hands together, feeling as if he was lifting the veil for Dean for the very first time.

“He knows?”

“Yeah, frankly I think he’s been jonesing for you from day one — the minute he pulled you from the pit.”

“So all this time Cas has been, what, in love with me. And he’s said nothing?”

“Looks like.” Sam replied, his gaze dropping to the floor, his voice taking on a flippant tone. “I mean, it’s not like he defied heaven, fought Metatron, or gave up his grace to save you or anything.”

“He did that to save the world, Sam.”

“Yeah, _his world._ ”

Dean stared at the floor for a second, his eyes moving side to side as he pieced together the past seven years. “We need to haul ass home.”

“Yeah.” Sam nodded, a smile breaking out across his face. Dean disappeared outside and a second later, the Impala roared to life.


End file.
